Jeez, these things are going to disintegrate by the time I get there, I thought. My phone rang. “Hey Mike, what’s up?” I asked. “Hi Mark, are you on your way yet? Fred and I are waiting on you.” I replied, “Yeah, I’m just around the corner. I’ll be there in a few seconds. You got plenty of beer, right?” Mike said, “Yeah, Fred’s about to grab some. Just hurry up, will you?” “Perfect, I’ll see you soon,” I said and hung up.
Mark thought, so this is what Easter’s all about, huh? I’m definitely going to need me some double-deed Easter eggs to hatch later. When I arrived, Mike said, “Dude, that was quick.” I laughed and said, “What can I say? I’m dying to have you over.” Mike welcomed me in. “Thanks,” I said. “So, uh, where is everyone?” Mike answered, “Fred’s getting the beers. Everyone else is running a bit late.” “I guess they’re going to be late to the big game, huh?” I joked. Mike said, “Dude, if you’re feening for some booze, I suggest you check my basement. I may have an extra case of beer stashed somewhere down there. You may also find some trees that I intend to burn later, so don’t go stealing any, alright?” I replied, “Yeah, say no more. You said it’s downstairs, right?” Mike nodded, “It’s in my cooler, in the basement. I told you it would be ice cold, didn’t I?” I said, “Yeah, sure dude.”
Mike led me to a door. “The basement is down past this door over here. But there’s just one thing — the lights don’t work down there, so you’ll need this,” he said, handing me a flashlight. “What do you mean the lights don’t work? Couldn’t you just replace a light bulb?” I asked. “There’s an issue with the circuits. I have an electrician coming next week, but for now, this is what we’re working with. Does that suit you, Miss Princess?” he teased. I hesitated, “Uh, uh, yeah… that’s fine.” “Good. Don’t mind the mess. You shouldn’t have trouble finding it,” Mike said. “I hope not,” I muttered and stepped down into the darkness.
“Wow, I told you it was dark down there, didn’t I?” Mike called after me. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll see you in a minute,” I grumbled. As I descended, the darkness wrapped around me like a heavy blanket. “Okay, what the hell, dude? Stupid freaking weirdo,” I mumbled to myself. “Just go down to the basement, Mark. It’s not creepy as hell down there at all. Just grab the beer that was supposed to be on the table in the first place. Come back up. No big deal.” My voice echoed slightly. “Not like Mr. Mike could grab it himself. No, not at all. Oh my God, this is creepy as hell.” I tried to laugh it off but my hands were shaking slightly. “Don’t worry about the mess, Mark. Just get the freaking beer and get the hell out of here.”
I pushed further into the basement. “Whatever. Alright, where’s the cooler? Cooler, cooler, cooler. Come on, Mike. What do you mean I shouldn’t have trouble finding it? You’ve got a whole junkyard down here.” I stumbled over boxes and old junk. “You’re a great help, Mike,” I muttered sarcastically. I finally spotted something resembling a cooler. “What the… are you kidding me? That’s your cooler?” I bent down and opened it, muttering under my breath, “What kind of animal are you, Mike? Now let’s see if there’s really any beer in here after all.”
As I lifted the lid, a chill shot through my body. “Jesus Christ! Fred! Fred! What the hell?!” I gasped, stumbling backwards. My heart was hammering in my chest. “Mike! Why are you… why are you in a bunny costume?! And why… why are you holding… teeth… that’s you, right?” My voice shook. “I, uh, I couldn’t find the cooler or the beer… could you, uh, point out where I’m supposed to look? I’m not trying to intrude or look through anything you don’t want me to.” My voice quivered with fear. “You know… that’s a great costume you’ve got there,” I said, my voice cracking. “Hey, slow down! I’m just saying it’s very topical… timely, you know, ’cause it’s Easter. I like what you’re doing… really.”
Mike stepped closer, not saying a word. “Stop, please! Come on, don’t do anything crazy! I’m your friend! I won’t tell anyone about this!” I begged. “Mike… you’re not right…”
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